...a time to break down.
I don't think this verse in Ecclesiastes meant a literal mental breakdown.
Lately, I have had an overwhelming feeling of losing something. Last weekend, at about three o'clock in the morning, I opened the door to my apartment, while talking on my cell phone. As soon as I cracked the door enough to put my foot in, Buster took the opportunity to fly out past me, run down the stairs, and attempt to mark every bush in my apartment complex.
I grabbed the leash and ran downstairs to catch him, but I was side-tracked by a girl my age dressed in a cheap polyester medieval witch's costume. She asked me if that was my dog who flew down the stairs, barked at her, and ran off. I quickly said "yes," and tried to walk off. Even though I was frantically telling my boyfriend on my cell phone that I couldn't find Buster, she asked me if she could use my cell phone to call her friends. I said I would come back, but as I was responding, I saw Buster on the other side of the breezeway quickly look in my direction and run off again. I ran around the building, but he was no where in sight.
I spent the next thirty minutes walking around my building calling for Buster and freaking out on the phone. I left my front door open so Buster could come in on his own. Shivering from the cold and holding back tears, I stood in the middle of my parking lot, crying out for my beloved dog. My precious Buster. Instantly, out of nowhere, Buster starts trotting towards me. I called him with the sweetest voice I could muster until he came up to me. I scooped him up and took him inside.
I couldn't decide whether I should beat him within an inch of his life or hug and kiss him. I didn't punish him, but I hadn't been that out of control in a long time.
At work, when people ask for keys or packages, the same thing always happens. I spend about five minutes hunting down my keys, and most of the time the residents pitch in to help me locate them. I just feel like I am losing it...whatever fills the blank.
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3 comments:
I know what you mean. I think of myself as a pretty together person, usually. However, these past few months I've been a wreck. There are many reasons for this, but I'm still surprised by it. I'm used to pushing on and dealing with things in my own private way, but that doesn't seem to be working for me anymore. Sorry, I don't have any words of encouragement for you, but I do know what you're going through.
I think times like these are simply phases in our life, and if we are patient, we will pass out of them.
I was really scared of the girl standing in the parking lot with a witch's costume on. I got up from the computer and went and locked my door. If it was me, and I saw that girl, Buster would have been on his own. He probably would have been sacrificed to the devil and eaten raw.
She was too drunk to be scary. Besides, if anybody tried to mess with Buster, I would send them myself to the devil to be sacrificed. I saw her a few minutes later going to another building and climbing the stairs. I guess she was lost.
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