Leaving Me Breathless

Ever since I took a video production class this semester, I have been fascinated with film making. Lately, when I watch films I find myself analyzing shot compositions, sound recreations, and editing styles. I realize that, even though not all directors are revered as "auteurs" of their films, every director puts their stamp on the final outcome. This is true with the film I watched today, United 93.

Director and screenwriter, Paul Greengrass-best known for directing The Bourne Supremacy, was definitely the author of this film. The first thing that I noticed about the film is the way he chooses to shoot the action. He uses closeups almost through the entire film, which keeps the audience right in the tension, drama, fear, action, and heartbreak. Even though we know too well what will happen, it does not make the film any less uncomfortable to watch. He uses a real (intact) plane to shoot the scenes, he shows real CNN footage of the attacks on the World Trade Center and Pentagon, he uses the gasps and screams from the actors to replicate our own reactions when we saw the terror on television.

I remember exactly what I was doing on 9/11/01. I remember hearing someone come in my class and say that a plane had hit the Pentagon. My teacher told them that they were crazy and started the class. I had to wait an hour before I called my boyfriend at the time, who was a police officer in the military. He said that he was already aware of what was going on. I drove as fast to his house as I could and sat on the couch with him as we watched the replay of the worst attack on US soil that I could remember. He had to go in to work, and for days, my roommates and I sat together on our couch, crying and holding hands until we all decided that we should be with our families. America pulled together for months, which was good for me because my boyfriend had to leave to go to Iraq.

I remember one day I was turning in the middle of a large intersection. Someone had a flag waving on the outside of their car, but it blew off and was on the road, underneath the red light. As I was turning, I stopped my car in the middle of the intersection, got out of my car, and picked it up off of the ground. Instead of the horns honking and bad words that I would normally expect for slowing down traffic, I got smiles from the other drivers.

This film brings me back to this time because after almost five years, we are already so far removed from this tragedy. We are back to blowing horns and not stopping to help others who need it.

This film softened my heart to the tragedy of this day with two scenes in particular. The first shows some of the passengers on the air phone, saying the Lord's Prayer with their loved ones, while, at the same time, showing a parallel shot of the terrorists praying to their god. The other scene was when the passengers started calling their loved ones, telling them that they loved them. Some of the people did not pick up the phone, so they had to leave their last goodbyes on an answering machine. The sickness on their face and the pain of knowing that they could not hear those who they loved one last time is enough to make the most macho of men shed a tear. The title is also something that is strong. Even though it was the flight name, it still speaks volumes about what happened on that day. The bravery, or heroism, or the execution of God's will, or whatever you call it was the main theme of this film. It was beautiful, haunting, heart-wrenching, and a film that will take a while to forget. Hopefully longer than five years.

Searching for the Truth?

I found this really great website about what the church believes and arguments against subjects like inherent depravity and arguments for why apostasy exists. I found the scriptures that are used to be very helpful in knowing the truth about the Bible.

http://www.insearchoftruth.org/index.html

Breaking Up is Hard to Do

...well not really.

The thing that is difficult is the pity looks, the urge to over-analyze the decision, and the reaquaintance with single life.

The pity looks are depressing, yet somewhat comical. They usually come from good friends, family members (who think that my biological clock is ticking loudly--even though I do not hear it at all), or married acquaintances. Friends and family, I can handle. The married acquaintances are the real stressor to my newly single life. It's like in that one look they are saying "yeah, before, when you were in your two year relationship, you were inching closer and closer into our 'married' club, but now you are totally shunned."

The urge to over-analyze does not stop with break-up situations. I have a strong tendency to analyze over and over again on every situation. When the unfortunate situation arises that calls for a hard look at my current relationship, the wheels start turning in my head and do not stop until a very long time after the relationship ends. I don't even worry about if I made the right decision because I don't make rash decisions (usually) but I reassure myself that I did the right thing over and over again.

The worst thing about breaking up is reaquainting myself with single life. I have forgotten how to go to the store alone, I don't know what to do with myself on a Friday night, and I must patch up all of the broken friendships that my monopolizing relationship destroyed. All of the generic advice to fill the time falls flat for me: "start playing a sport," "go out dancing," "remove all traces of your past relationship and burn in in a ceremonial cleansing." Who does that? Oh, and the urban legend that break-ups cause a spring of creativity and the newly single person writes with a renewed sense of purpose. Well, that's garbage. I am still a dry well like I always am around the end of a semester.

Don't get me wrong; I am not sad or depressed that I broke up with Kevin. It has been a month, and I haven't really felt bad about it at all. We are still good friends, but we cannot agree on religion. Does that mean that I am going to move into a convent and marry God, or whoever nuns vow themselves to? Never in a million years.

I should have more time to devote to school, family, and other activities, and I do, but I prefer to be in a relationship. However, even though that desire to be in a relationship is there, I will not sacrifice my time and energy on an unfruitful relationship. So then the question arises, "to date or not to date?" I am not ready to answer that question. Dating for fun is really for sixteen-year-olds who devote themselves to mall-perusing and body glitter. I, on the other hand, am not interested in dating just to date. On the other hand, I do not want to close myself off completely and miss out on some really good guys (even if they are only friends). I just don't trust my judgment anymore. It is like a limp leg that I am dragging around, taking care that no one bother it and watching for any impending damage to it.

This is meandering, at best. It is late and I am tired. You know what I am trying to say.

Today in Music

I found this really cool website that tells you what the number one song was on the day you were born (or really any day that you care to know about). The number one song the day I was born was "Every Breath You Take" by The Police. If you are curious, take a look and add your song.

http://www.thisdayinmusic.com/member/birthdayno1.php

I finally broke down...

I finally broke down and got a myspace account. If anyone would like to visit, go to http://www.myspace.com/kaseyleighray. I hope I don't get too obsessed with it and neglect my blog!

Romans 16:16

Because of the tragic murder of Matthew Winkler, my church, The Church of Christ, has been under media scrutiny the past few weeks. I have seen the media try to peg our church a cult, or say that we are ratical. For this reason, I would like to state, for the record, what I believe (and what the Church of Christ believes).

1. I believe in acapella singing.

Ephesians 5:19 Speaking to yourselves in psalms and hymns and spiritual songs, singing and making melody in your heart to the Lord;

Colossians 3:16 Let the word of Christ dwell in you richly in all wisdom; teaching and admonishing one another in psalms and hymns and spiritual songs, singing with grace in your hearts to the Lord.

2. I believe in taking the Lord's Supper weekly.

Acts 20:7 And upon the first day of the week, when the disciples came together to break bread, Paul preached unto them, ready to depart on the morrow; and continued his speech until midnight.

3. I believe in baptism for the remission of sins.

Acts 2:38 Then Peter said unto them, Repent, and be baptized every one of you in the name of Jesus Christ for the remission of sins, and ye shall receive the gift of the Holy Ghost.

Acts 22:16 And now why tarriest thou? arise, and be baptized, and wash away thy sins, calling on the name of the Lord.

Mark 16:16 He that believeth and is baptized shall be saved; but he that believeth not shall be damned.

Galatians 3:27 For as many of you as have been baptized into Christ have put on Christ.

1 Peter 3:21 The like figure whereunto even baptism doth also now save us (not the putting away of the filth of the flesh, but the answer of a good conscience toward God,) by the resurrection of Jesus Christ:

4. I do not believe in fundraising schemes.

1 Corinthians 16:1-2
1 Now concerning the collection for the saints, as I have given order to the churches of Galatia, even so do ye.
2 Upon the first day of the week let every one of you lay by him in store, as God hath prospered him, that there be no gatherings when I come.

2 Corinthians 9:5-7
5 Therefore I thought it necessary to exhort the brethren, that they would go before unto you, and make up beforehand your bounty, whereof ye had notice before, that the same might be ready, as a matter of bounty, and not as of covetousness.
6 But this I say, He which soweth sparingly shall reap also sparingly; and he which soweth bountifully shall reap also bountifully.
7 Every man according as he purposeth in his heart, so let him give; not grudgingly, or of necessity: for God loveth a cheerful giver.

5. I do not believe in women preachers.

1 Timothy 2:11-14
11 Let the woman learn in silence with all subjection.
12 But I suffer not a woman to teach, nor to usurp authority over the man, but to be in silence.
13 For Adam was first formed, then Eve.
14 And Adam was not deceived, but the woman being deceived was in the transgression.

6. I do not believe in clergy or titles (like "reverend" for preachers). "Pastor" does not mean "evangelist" in the Bible-- it means "elder."

Psalm 111:9 He sent redemption unto his people: he hath commanded his covenant for ever: holy and reverend is his name.

Ephesians 4:11 And he gave some, apostles; and some, prophets; and some, evangelists; and some, pastors and teachers;

7. I do not believe in any creed other than the New Testament.

2 Timothy 3: 16-17
16 All scripture is given by inspiration of God, and is profitable for doctrine, for reproof, for correction, for instruction in righteousness:
17 That the man of God may be perfect, thoroughly furnished unto all good works.

8. I do not believe in any earthly church headquarters.

Hebrews 12:2 Looking unto Jesus the author and finisher of our faith; who for the joy that was set before him endured the cross, despising the shame, and is set down at the right hand of the throne of God.

Ephesians 1: 20-23
20 Which he wrought in Christ, when he raised him from the dead, and set him at his own right hand in the heavenly places,
21 Far above all principality, and power, and might, and dominion, and every name that is named, not only in this world, but also in that which is to come:
22 And hath put all things under his feet, and gave him to be the head over all things to the church,
23 Which is his body, the fulness of him that filleth all in all.

9. I believe in going to church on Sunday.

Acts 20:7 And upon the first day of the week, when the disciples came together to break bread, Paul preached unto them, ready to depart on the morrow; and continued his speech until midnight.

1 Corinthians 16:2 Upon the first day of the week let every one of you lay by him in store, as God hath prospered him, that there be no gatherings when I come.

John 20:19 Then the same day at evening, being the first day of the week, when the doors were shut where the disciples were assembled for fear of the Jews, came Jesus and stood in the midst, and saith unto them, Peace be unto you.