Don't Ask the Question

Sometimes when it feels like everything is going wrong, I think to myself, "What else could possibly happen?" I caught myself a couple of days ago when I thought that very same question, because I didn't want to know the answer.

I tried to change my name today, only to realize that I now have three legal names on record. My maiden name, my new hyphenated last name, and my first name with "L" and Mark's last name is another. The only thing I can do about it now is first publish the name I want in a newspaper ($80), then go to the superior court and petition for a new name on court documents ($75), then change my marriage license, then change my driver's license ($20). In the petition to the superior court, I have to explain why I want to change my name. I shouldn't have to defend why I want my own name that I have had my entire life. It is ridiculous that I have to go through all that trouble just because I don't want to drop my middle and last name. It's my name, for goodness sake. I should be able to change it to whatever I want. It makes me question just how "progressive" America really is when people say things like, "Just take your husband's name and don't make a big deal about it," or "Does it matter that much to you?" Of course it matters that much to me! What else do you have if you can't even have control over your own name!

So, I plan on putting an ad in the paper. If I have to, I will put it on the front page and it will say, "I am paying $175 just so I can keep my name. It does matter to me, I will make a big deal about it, and if this isn't a patriarchal society, then I don't know what is."

Thank goodness for my feminist husband, because most men would be offended if their new bride was going to make this much of a deal about their name. However, it does beg the question of the purpose for taking such offense to this gesture. I understand that men feel like it is a gift that they are giving to choose one person to have their name, and it makes it alot easier with paperwork and other things, but what's the big deal? I don't understand why there has to be so little choice in our society when it comes to a woman's name. I like my name, I understand that I will always carry a man's name (whether it be my father's or my husband's) but at least it is mine, and it is not a bad thing to want to protect it.

The Documentary and Beyond

The premiere was really great. We showed the film in Augusta on the 14th of this month. The room would hold 110 people, and there was one more person than capacity in attendance. It was a packed house. We got a lot of good feedback from the audience, and we were grateful for all of our friends and family who showed up.

Now that the premiere is over, Mark and I are starting to focus on other things, like our marriage and writing. I have been trying to write for three months, but I didn't get a lot done with the documentary in full swing. Now, I am enjoying having the house quiet enough to concentrate. I like writing, even though it sometimes takes way longer for me to fight my demons than for me to write a sentence. I think I have talked myself into liking mediocrity so much that I can actually write without any expectation of what it will turn out to be. If it is better than mediocre, I will be thrilled.

We will be moving in seven weeks to Virginia, then we will move again (after seven weeks in Virginia) to somewhere. We are hoping for LA, but we will keep our eyes open for opportunities elsewhere. It feels so strange to be in the middle of such change. I guess it isn't unusual for people to want to pick up and go somewhere else, but it is scary when you realize that you are fool enough to actually do it. I don't think that anyone is surprised that Mark and I are planning this traveling circus, but it worries me that we haven't talked ourselves out of it yet! I am thrilled that we are going to be this unstable at the beginning of our marriage because it makes me know that no matter what happens in my life, or Mark's life, or our lives, we will always be up for the ride, no matter where that takes us. In other words, we trust each other, and there is nothing better than that.

It's Been Awhile

Mark and I have been frantically working on the documentary for the entirety of our marriage, but the manifestation of all of our hard work will culminate on Saturday at the premiere at the Morris Museum of Art. Here are some photos that we took as we traveled to Florida, Tennessee, Oklahoma, Montana, Washington, and California.



This is Mark and James, the other executive producer in Oklahoma City.



This is a picture of Bozeman, Montana. Mark and I went there to interview one of Dub's grandsons. It was 50 degrees with no wind, so we had just missed the cold front, but there was still some snow on the ground.



This is a picture of Santa Monica. Mark and I went there to get some b-roll footage at David Zucker's office. I wanted to take a second and look at the Santa Monica pier.



This is a picture of the front of LAX. As you can see, the traffic around the airport is horrendous.

This is pretty much been the summation of the past three months. Besides the editing issues and politics, the documentary has been progressing at a break-neck pace. We hope that the documentary still has some soul after all of the headaches and heartaches that we have endured. I'll keep you posted.