Whoa, Whoa Here She Comes...She's a Maneater

Today marks my seventh week of pregnancy, which is roughly half-way through my first trimester. I have realized that I don't feel "pregnant," unless by pregnant I mean extremely nauseous, irritable, out of breath, flabby, bloated, weak, and possess the ability to belch like a man. This might sound precious to the breed of women that long to have a being growing inside of them, who feel that the sacrifice is worth the outcome, or the kind of women who tried for a really long time to have a baby, and they feel that it is worth the inconvenience.

I am neither of those women. I try to embrace the earth mother/mother nature image, and I used to think that I would become one of those women who bathed in the bliss of gestation, but I do not and I will not. I am not jolly.

Mark says that I look at him as if I hate him, and that I pull away when he tries to touch me. The mix of irritability with pain is not a very good combination for a marriage, especially a new marriage. I know that, but cannot do anything about the situation. If I were in this much pain normally I would go to the emergency room, but the nurses just laugh and say that this pain is normal. I have six types of snacks in my drawer at work and have to eat about every thirty minutes or I feel nauseated and get horrible heartburn. I am worried because I know I am going to blow up like a balloon, but I can't stop eating. Needless to say, this is not a good day. The nurse told me that I should feel like myself in seven weeks. I am counting down. I will give an update then. That promise is the only thing that makes me feel better.

And, for the record, I would just like to say that I was tricked about the nature of pregnancy. My two cousins that recently went through their first trimester of pregnancy were not nauseated at all. That is not fair, even though one of them had more serious complications that were way more serious than my situation. But still.

Also, if you read this and sense a touch of a mood swing, I will give you that because my hormones are way out of whack. I have hot flashes and then bouts of bitter cold within a few minutes and all of my symptoms are a reaction to the progesterone that is running through my body. I get it, but I don't feel any better.