Well, I don't have one cohesive thought that will be a connecting thread in this post. I have not been posting lately because I haven't really have anything to say, but I was starting to feel guilty, so here it goes.
1. Ever since I got married, I have been sick. Mark and I have chronic headaches, stomach viruses, allergies, acid reflux, etc. We can't really figure out what the main cause is, except for an overwhelming move, weight gain, a limited amount of sleep, stress, and major life changes. We are still trying to figure it out, so if you can think of something that we are missing, let me know.
2. That brings me to my next point: weight gain is the most depressing thing in the universe. I blame it on our kitchen (who refuses to stay clean, so we HAVE to eat out every meal) and all of the stress from the past few months. Even though I have identified the culprits, I don't feel any better. I actually hate my body worse than I ever have. My fat jeans are now my jeans. I would vomit if I could. Just kidding, sort of.
3. This whole novel writing thing stinks. I hate formal structure and the feeling of failure that won't escape my head. It really makes me not feel creative, as well as the weight gain that makes me depressed and hungry constantly. It is hard to keep me in a chair long enough to write a coherent sentence.
4. Mark's documentary is progressing. We just got back from Oklahoma City and are considering taking another trip to LA and possibly Seattle. The documentary premieres exactly two months from now, so there isn't that much left to do, except for make some sense out of the raw footage and promote it. There are several sites dedicated to the project and a few "behind the scenes" shorts on youtube.com. I know that Mark will be so glad when that is over.
5. I am the absolute worst housewife ever. Every day when Mark gets home and asks me how my day went, I look back on it and realized that all of the tiny things I did do not make a difference in the grand scheme of our lives. The house is still a mess, it is dirty and unorganized, I haven't done anything on our list of things to do when we first got married, and it really appears as if I sit around and eat bon-bons all day. In fact, I am running all around town looking for a particular brand of shampoo that no one carries, or writing a bajillion thank you cards, or trying to find receipts so that we can deduct the documentary for our tax purposes (talk about fun...), or any of the other mindless things that people have to find time to do. I feel like my mind is getting soft. The first few weeks of marriage were hard because I had an identity crisis. Now, I am coming out of it, but still feel frazzled like never before. It is definitely a strange sensation, but thank goodness I married Mark. No one else would make me stay sane during this process.
So that's it. Not coherent, but honest as always.
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4 comments:
I'm feeling "the fats" too. I went to the doc for my 6 month check up and have gained 15 pounds since my last appointment. Yikes. I don't want to stop eating even though I feel like crap. I have acid reflux all the time too and I'm just exhausted because I don't take care of my body. Come Monday morning, I'm starting Phase 1 of South Beach. I swear.
Kasey, if you want, JJ and I can come to your house and help you clean and organize. Sadly, this would be fun for us since we enjoy this type of thing. I know I feel better when my home is clean and organized, so I think this may help you feel a little bit better.
You've gone through a lot these past couple of months and it's no wonder you're feeling poopy. I wish there was something I could do. Let me know if there is.
Kirsten,
Thanks for the kind words. I now have a sinus infection, and I feel like doo doo fo' real. I would love for you and Jennifer to come to my house, not to clean, but just to hang out and spend the night if you want. It is only an hour away from your house. I mean, Mark's great and all, but, c'mon...living with boys 24/7 is just plain strange. Ya know? Mark would love a day where he could work in his office without me making him feel like I would be lonely. If you two came, then he could escape for a day. Let me know if you two are serious.
Sleep is always a good idea. Maybe trying to get more of that would help? Of course, I don't know what your regular sleep patterns are.
If you guys need some help unpacking, unloading, etc, I'm free during the weekends (which are Friday - Monday), so please give me a call and I'll be glad to trot over and help, I know there is a lot to unpack.
I also really enjoyed your blog post on the site...not so much the Facebook sarcasm. My English teacher loves me, by the way, and I'll have you know that I am highly gramertized.
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