Happy Birthday to Me!

Today is my birthday, and even though I am excited as always to have a birthday celebration, I have realized that as the numbers increase, and the farther away from the year of my birth I go, the excitement comes with a little negative glow over the day. Last year was the worst birthday of my life. I was in the bed, sick as a dog, the guy I was dating at the time refused to come over because his mom said he couldn't be out at seven at night on a Sunday (Why, you may ask? Because she was nuts!), and then a family member asked for $300. Pretty crappy.

This birthday is better just because of the low standard I have following last year. However, the reality of an adult life and an adult birthday makes me a little, I don't know, blue maybe. But I am still very grateful that my loved ones make such an effort, and I don't want to sound like a brat. I just mean that there is a realization of getting older that is hard to accept. The transition from going from "When I get older..." to "I wish I could be 16 again..." is slightly uncomfortable.

Last night, my family went to eat at Applebee's to celebrate my birthday. My mom, sister, and I went to the bathroom and we saw some women that we knew (which happens a lot in small towns). Mom told them that we were celebrating my birthday, and said that going out to dinner is about the extent of celebration that this family does lately. The lady said, "I know what you mean," and then, to me, "when you get to be that age..."

However, I still feel young. I still feel like I haven't really even started my adult life. I feel enthusiastic about my future plans, even though I have slowed down and do not want to rush anymore. I feel good about finally coming out of this "quarter-life crisis" that I have been in. I feel happy, so this is a happy birthday.