The Click

As I sit at my desk (okay, cubicle) and hide the fact that I am munching on some Reese’s peanut butter bites (which is SO illegal), I long for a McDonald’s sweet tea (a new love) and some real food. I have also realized that an office setting is no place for organic writing because I have a constant fear of being found “off task,” even though I don’t have any. I try to stay below the radar and look busy, but the stress of trying to make a good impression (which suffered today severely when I forgot to change out of my navy and white flip-flops before I got to work the day before my mid-semester evaluation — nice!) I feel high on sugar and cramp-alleviating prescription medicine and I cannot focus. Should I have eaten a donut stick and a Capri Sun before I got to work instead of a real lunch? Probably not. Am I making it worse by eating Reese’s bites? Definitely. The water at the water cooler is not appealing, and no one brought anything to eat on like they usually do. This is the life of an intern.

I heard an interview with the CEO of a record company on the radio yesterday morning. He said that he went from being an intern to CEO in seven years. He said that the two secrets that he learned to be successful are to learn how to make a mean cup of coffee and to make yourself, not just an asset, but a necessity to the company. I thought about that and I felt motivated for a while. However, I don’t know how to make coffee and I have attempted to make myself a necessity. It is hard to do because I am only here 15 hours a week and for only four more weeks. I will continue to try, but I get confused about where I really want to be. I really wish that something would click in my head and I would just know. I will continue to pretend to do work and listen out for the click.