I have found that publically speaking about the search for a marriage partner is, in some ways, a distasteful subject, especially for the opposite sex. I wonder how long women will have to continue participate in this delicate dance of dating while secretly analyzing if the guy is "marriage partner material." I would like to rebel this silent analysis and frankly display what type of man is acceptable for me to marry. Feel free to add to this list, or make your own.
1. He must be a "true" christian. I mean someone who takes his walk with God seriously, and I wouldn't mind if he was stronger in his faith than I am. (It would be a nice change!) Also, I would want him to be on the same page as me in terms of religion. I want someone who will sit beside me in the pew, not in a pew down the street in another church. Where would the kids go? Which leads me to...
2. He has to want children, and have the desire to be a great dad. He must know what it takes to be a good father according to God's word, and take his responsibility seriously. Also, my mother would have a heart attack if she didn't get any grandchildren out of me. (Children is another topic that some men don't want to discuss.)
3. He has to be good with finances. Enough said.
4. He has to have a GREAT personality, love my family, love my friends, and love my jokes.
5. He cannot be jealous, have a bad temper, be abusive (verbally, emotionally, or physically) or any other negative character trait that is damaging in a relationship. These issues stem from a low self esteem problem, so I want him to have high self-esteem.
6. He needs to be attractive to me. I don't need a traditionally foxy guy, but I want someone who is attractive to my standards, and it wouldn't hurt if he found me really attractive.
7. He has to dedicate himself to becoming my best friend and really connecting to me because I would do the same for him. I expect the same amount of effort from him that I put in, and some days when I don't put in a lot of effort, I would love it if he didn't retract his effort as well.
8. He has to have drive in his job. I don't really care what the job is, but I want him to be passionate about it. I, sometimes, get discouraged about persuing my passions, and I would really like it if someone could push me to not give up. I really think it is important to have a cheering section built in to a relationship.
9. He has to be virtuous. This includes being trustworthy, kind, caring, loving, rational, gentle, wise, earnest, etc.
10. Last but not least, and I say this in all seriousness, he has to LOVE Buster. Not a surface friendliness, but an honest caring for my dog. I feel bad for saying this, but guys that I have dated who did not like Buster did not last for long. I really resent people who do not like animals, or who act jealous of them. I think that is immature.
Well, I think that is a good start. If I left out anything, I will have to add it later.
3 comments:
I feel I already have the perfect husband, but I'll list the things that he had to learn during his transformation into the perfect husband.
1. He has to decide about church. Preferably come to mine, but make a decision and be passionate about it. Above all. Love God. Thankfully he saw the light and did things the CoC way.
2. He has to let me have my way.
3. He has to be funny.
4. He has to love kittens
5. He has to listen to me when I tell him his outfit or shoes are really ugly (unfortunately, Jon breaks this rule from time to time).
6. He has to like my family and friends.
7. He has to diet with me.
I guess the list could go on and on. In short, I heart Jon and don't think anyone is more perfectly suited to be my spouse and put up with my garbage. Jon goes through a lot. You all know what a saint he is.
(In a whiney voice) Jooonnn. Poor guy.
I think it is fabulous that you know what you want in a man, most of us are still figuring that out. I like the point you made about "effort." Most people have the romantic notion that a relationship should be effortless, and give up when they find it is work. Don't settle for less than what you want. How very mature you are!
I'm so glad that Mark fit the bill. He's a great guy.
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